They are looking for the next Bill Mays!
I think I can do it! I think I can be the next Billy Mays! I was told once I could sell stink to New York City cabbies. I’m not sure, but I think that was a compliment.
There’s only one drawback I don’t have a beard . I can grow one. Hell, I had one for years back at Leo Burnett, when everyone wore a beard and a Safari jacket. Like I said, it’s been awhile. There’s probably a little gray in there that will match the hair on my chest…and back. I think I will get Soames (our resident photo shop genius) to put a beard on my profile picture, when he’s not doing stuff, like thinking of ideas and drawing key frames.
I know I can sell stuff, too. Bob Scarpelli of DDB fame said, “Hell, Ferg worked on the Bush campaign. If he can sell George Bush, he can sell anything.” I’m not sure, but I think that was a compliment.
Over the years, I have written ads that have sold Cup ‘O Pizza, McRibs, after-market auto parts, road-stripping paint, an antacid that stuck to the roof of your mouth, a candy bar with vitamins, crotch-rot ointment, hula burgers (a grilled slice of pineapple, with mayo, between a couple of buns), diet frozen enchiladas, just to name a few. But wait, there’s more! Bill Bernbach once said that nothing kills a bad product faster than good advertising. I musta done a great job, since all these products, minus the McRib, aren’t around anymore.
I will get in touch with Billy’s people and see what happens. Until then, I think there are some Eskimos that don’t know it, but they are about to buy some ice….