They are looking for the next Bill Mays!

http://adage.com/article?article_id=141706

I think I can do it! I think I can be the next Billy Mays! I was told once I could sell stink to New York City cabbies. I’m not sure, but I think that was a compliment.

There’s only one drawback I don’t have a beard . I can grow one. Hell, I had one for years back at Leo Burnett, when everyone  wore a beard and a Safari jacket.  Like I said, it’s been awhile. There’s probably a little gray in there that will match the hair on my chest…and back. I think I will get Soames (our resident photo shop genius) to put a beard on my profile picture, when he’s not doing stuff, like thinking of ideas and drawing key frames.

I know I can sell stuff, too.  Bob Scarpelli of DDB fame said, “Hell, Ferg worked on the Bush campaign. If he can sell George Bush, he can sell anything.”  I’m not sure, but I think that was a compliment.

Over the years, I have written ads that have sold  Cup ‘O Pizza, McRibs, after-market auto parts,  road-stripping paint, an antacid that stuck to the roof of your mouth, a candy bar with vitamins, crotch-rot ointment,  hula burgers (a grilled slice of pineapple, with mayo, between a couple of buns), diet frozen enchiladas,  just to name a few.  But wait, there’s more! Bill Bernbach once said that nothing kills a bad product faster than good advertising. I musta done a great job, since all these products, minus the McRib, aren’t around anymore.

I will get in touch with Billy’s people and see what happens. Until then, I think there are some Eskimos that don’t know it, but they are about to buy some ice….

When I need a boost of creativity, I drive thirty miles south of Dallas to the Webb Gallery in Waxahachie. The Webb Gallery features one of the largest collections of “outsider art” in the country. Jimmy Lee Sudduth and moset (produced Mose T) are two of the most famous artists for this category of art. Ike E. Morgan is also on display at the gallery.

I have a rather extensive collection of outsider art. I love it for its simplicity. And I love the stories behind the art. That’s why I love spending time with the owners, Bruce and Julie Webb. They know it’s not just about the art, but about the back stories. Last Saturday, we purchased two pieces of art. I love the “Feed the Monkey” piece. It seems the artist (sorry, but I can’t remember her name) painted all her pieces on the inside of lids from pots and pans…then hung them in the trees. When she died there were thousands, yes thousands, of these pieces  adorning the trees in her front and back yards. No one knew what to do with them, so someone called Bruce Webb. They are now on display in his gallery.

Think about it. Who in their right mind, would take a lid and paint a picture of a monkey with words like, “Feed the Monkey, Baby”. In most cases, the people who do paint “outsider art” are not in their right minds, thus the simplicity of their art.

If you’d like to discover this beautiful art form, visit the Webb Gallery. Take I-35 South towards Austin. It’s just a few miles down the road in Waxahatchie. And be sure to check out their web gallery!

webbartgallery.com/

When I was at YR/NY I was fortunate to work with a terrific young creative team, Ted McCagg and Stu Garrett. They did great work on the Bronx Zoo and the Coney Island Aquarium. They also polished the biggest turd in the world…a campaign we inherited from FCB, featuring the unfunny comedian Carrot Top for ATT.

Let me just say, there is nothing an agency hates worse than having to work on another agency’s campaign, particularly when it is a total and complete POS!

Knowing no senior team would tackle such an assignment, Ted and Stu were quickly summoned to my office and given a chance to “polish the turd”, which is a Fergism for “make it better”.  I promised I would never hold it against them or ever bring it up on their performance reviews. It would be our dirty little secret. They could even take their girlfriends out to LA and live at the Four Seasons for a few months! The bribe worked. They accepted. At best, I would give the work at B, which is along way up from the F-double-minus they started with. What I liked was that Stu and Ted actually took on the project, knowing it was a total POS. Funny thing is, along the way, Stu and Ted became friends with CT, to the point of calling him “The Top”. Once,  the team actually brought “The Top” to my office for me to meet. I think they thought it would be cool and a good way to suck up to me. It wasn’t. I hated “The Top” and told them keep him away from me, in no uncertain terms.  Little did I know that “The Top” was standing right outside the door, while I spewed on and on about him and the horrible campaign. Oh well…

Today, Ted sent me  a link to his blog that features his cartoons. They are good. Ted, I won’t be sending them to “The Top” to polish, I promise!

http://tedmccagg.typepad.com/

This is Yi Jianlian. He is one of the two basketball stars in the Chinese version of our “Nothing But Net” commercial.  The other player is Zhu Fongyu.

Just thought you’d like to know.

One of the greatest things about working in an advertising agency are the people you go to work with everyday. I have worked with hundreds of creative people over the past 28 years…and, boy, have I met some characters (that’s for another blog). But what fascinates me the most is how truly creative alot of “creatives” truly are. Many are just not writers or art directors, but also musicians and song writers and and painters and photographers and wood carvers. While at Burnett, Bob and I worked with a world-renowned duck decoy carver whose work sold for thousands of dollars. (One time, our CD thought the carver was dead in his room at the Four Seasons Hotel in LA. After numerous calls to his room, hotel security was summoned. When they opened the room, the carver was sitting in his underwear surrounded by woodchips piled six-inches deep. He had been carving all weekend!)

At DDB/Dallas, I used to put on an art show every year. Amazing stuff would adore the agency…and not just from the creative department. I remember an account guy who did amazing pottery…it was a bit on the erotic side, but art nonetheless.

Today, we received a painting from an old friend and Leo Burnett colleague, Rory Monaghan. Rory was one of the best ad writers I have ever been around. His work on United Airlines always amazed me. He came up with big ideas. He actually choreographed the draw bridgers over the Chicago River to move up and down to the music of “Rhapsody in Blue”.

I always knew Rory, the writer, but not Rory, the fine artist.  Just like so many of my creative friends at Y&R, Leo Burnett and DDB, Rory is possessed with another talent…painting. I rode the train from the Northshore of Chicago to the downtown station with Rory everyday for ten years. I thought his only talents were writing and talking and drinking. I was wrong.

Thanks Rory for the wonderful portrait of Bob and I that now hangs in the JimBob_Dallas lobby.

I don’t always agree with my old friend Bob Garfield at AdAge.But this time I think he’s dead on in his critique of the 2010 Census campaign.

Bob Garfield’s AdAge column

For the life of me, I don’t  understand what the new Census work is trying to accomplish. It sure as heck doesn’t give me a reason why I should fill out the form.  Back in 2000, when I was at Young & Rubicam/NY we produced a highly successful Census campaign, “This is your future. Don’t leave it blank”. The idea was simple, if you don’t fill out your Census questionaire then your community could lose out when Washington sends out tax money. My favorite commercial firemen trying to fight a fire without enough water hose. Dramatic stuff. And it worked.  For the first time in Census history, the mail response rate increased over the previous census from 65-67 percent. We had a great strategy and the work was fantastic and the results were through the roof. What’s so hard about that?

Take a look. Maybe this work that features a weird cast of characters will motivate you to fill out your census form…but not me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXm-Rc1do5w

I love this. It’s a Chinese version of McDonald’s “Nothing But Net” spot.

There have been a lot of parodies of the commercial over the years. No one probably remembers, but Bob and I produced a spot once with a couple of NFL field goal kickers, one being Pete Stoyonovich  and Chip Lohmier. The golf channel had cute one with a couple of golfers banging shots of trees, etc. Someone in Europe did another rip off, using soccer players. It was cute. But none of these beats the original with Michael and Larry.

Until now. Check out the MJ and Bird of China playing “horse” for a Big Mac.

Every year at this time, we get a number of calls from reporters around the world wanting to talk about McDonald’s “Nothing But Net” commercial, staring Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. Produced in l994, it is considered a Super Bowl classic. Over the next few days, Bob and I will discuss the spot. Tune in for some behind the scenes chit chat.

No, Larry. You can’t keep us quiet anymore!!

I really believe this neon sign that hangs in Boston’s Logan Airport says it all about American Airlines.

It looks like a pissed off vulture, ready to swoop down and pick a passenger’s wallet clean.

I would take the logo down immedately, if I were the folks that ran the logo department. Why? (See previous paragraph.)

Air travel is bad enough, without having to deal with employees that really and truly seem to hate their jobs. And, from the look and feel of things, people at AA hate their jobs…from the baggage check-in guys to the gate agents to the flight attendents. The only people who seem to like what they are doing are the pilots. But, then again the only time we ever have an interaction with them, is when they are waving “bye bye” as we “exit the aircraft.”

I have flown millions of miles on American and known from which I speak.

Wait!!!! I just came to a realization. Keep the logo! That way we’ll know exactly what we are facing when we board AA! And the only surprise will be, when someone smiles and says “hello.”

I have been to basically every major sporting event in the world. For those who didn’t know it, I was sportswriter for seven years out of college and traveled the country covering great events. I went to the Final Four in Salt Lake where I saw Larry Bird and Magic Johnson as collegians. I saw Leon Spinks kick Muhammad Ali’s ass in Las Vegas. I’ve been to four six Super Bowls, a World Series (Yankees vs Mets), Indy 500, Brickyard 500 and sat on the floor at the end of the bench when the Bulls’ John Paxson hit the final shot to beat the Suns for their third straight NBA title. (I even did a commercial with #23 for McDonald’s as he was leaving court.) I been to every major bowl game and a Wimbledon match.

But I gotta say, I would put the NHL Winter Classic right up there as one of the best events I have ever witnessed. It was fun!

Think about it: A hockey game between the Boston Bruins and the Philadelphia Flyers…outside…in the middle of winter…at Fenway Park…surrounded bt 38,000 crazed fans. (My favorite moment came in the middle of the second period when the fans started chanting, “Yankees suck! Yankees suck!”)

The pregame was great…Bobby Orr and Bobby Clarke facing off at center ice… the Boston police and fire departments marching behind a fife and drum corp into the Fenway Park…James Taylor singing the National Anthem.

Plus, on top of all this, the Bruins and the Flyers played a great game, with Boston winning in overtime 2-1.

The NHL has had it’s problems over the past few years. No TV contract. And, let’s face it, hockey isn’t the easiest game to watch on the small screen. But if the Winter Classic is any indication of what my old friend and NHL CMO John Collins has up his sleeve to bring the league back, then I can’t wait. There’s talk that next year’s game will be in Yankee Stadium. Hopefully, I’ll be there.