This creep gives me the creeps. I mean it. I have had nightmares of Mr. Six, the Six Flags “spokesgrandpa”, standing over my bed, grinning from ear to ear. Then, he turns to Michael Jackson and flips a coin. Thank goodness, I always wake up right after Michael says, “tails”.

There are many things I just don’t understand. On the top of the list are French and Mr. Six, in that order. What does he have to do with the Six Flags brand? The only thing I can think of is that the park makes you feel young. Geez. What an insight. That’s like saying when you drink water, you won’t be thirsty anymore.

Back in l985, I developed a set of characters that actually made sense…Vince and Larry, the spokesdummies for the Department of Transportation. Over the years, the “You could learn a lot from a dummy” has received over $1 BILLION in psa advertising, (second only to Smokey the Bear), helped save thousands of lives by reminding people to buckle up, become a display in the Smithsonian and honored at the White House by President Ronald Reagan for their contributions to society.

The funny thing is: this campaign almost didn’t happen. It wasn’t the recommendation by the Leo Burnett Agency to the Advertising Council. Seems the creative review committee (love that word committee!) wanted to go with another campaign…more on the lines of what you’d expect in a psa campaign…lots of scare tactics. We took an opposite approach…talking dummies who hated their jobs. “We’ve been doing this for years and no one is listening,” Vince tells Larry in an early spot. Thank goodness for Ric Smith from the Department of Transporation who saw the idea in the campaign and bought it.

Now, twenty year mandatory safety belt laws are in all 50 dates. (Prior to the start of the Vince and Larry campaign, only 5 states had mandatory safety belt laws.)

There’s nothing wrong with “critters” as they were known at Leo Burnett. There have been some great ones…the Energizer Bunny, Tony the Tiger, Charlie the Tuna, Tucan Sam, Ronald McDonald’s. But not Mr. Sux, I mean Mr. Six…

I hate to fly. Hate it. Would rather watch an “English romantic comedy” than sit in an airplane. I have flown over 8 million miles just on American. I’ve even taken  the Concord from Paris to New York City…twice. And, I can honestly say, I have hated every mile I have flown.

Last week I traveled from Dallas to Los Angeles on an airline that is now charging $5 bucks to “upgrade” from the middle seat to an aisle seat. They call it a premium seat. Whatever. I call it bullshit. Also, on that 6 a.m. flight, “breakfast” consisted of a can of Pringles and a can of coke. Don’t get me wrong, I like Pringles and Coca Cola, but not at 6 a.m. for breakfast.

I really didn’t think business travel could get any worse than it is now, until….

Introducing Ryanair. Just read about these guys. Here’s the deal: On commuter flights of 30 minutes or less, they sell “stand up” room. Yes, you will basically grab a strap and hold on, just like you were riding on a bus or the subway.  How horrible is that?

While working at Leo Burnett, the agency handled the United Airlines campaign. It was incredible. Great writing. Great art direction. Great ideas. Everything about the campaign was damn near perfect, including the music (Rhapsody in Blue) and the voice over (Gene Hackman). The creative team that was run by a Bud Watts turned out classic advertising year after year. Bud produced a spot about a business getting fired by his oldest client. And a mother on a business trip, while her daughter was in day school.   There was the spot about a Marine coming home (still makes me cry) and the salesman that hit a streak of bad luck until he boarded United Airlines. Great advertising. United “rededicated” itself to providing the best service in the air to its customers.

I miss that kind of brand building advertising. I have always heard you either must build brand OR drive sales. You can’t do both. I disgree totally. The advertising I mentioned above more often than not accomplished both…it left you with a great message and also drove home price-value at the same time. It wasn’t about cheap. It was about value. Big difference. I can’t wait to see how Ryanair plans on building its brand…